That day, while standing on the window pane,
Watching the warmth of my coffee mug being stolen away in the winds,
The strands of my hairs flowing freely, as if dancing on the beats of nature,
The tempting smell of the still damp soil after having a rain bath spreading its existence everywhere,
It was all so free, so lively,
As if each element on planet trying to live to the fullest,
In the midst of it all,
I was happy, I really was
but something within felt caged,
I felt void,
Like I longed for something but too scared to get it,
Just like a muffin placed high in front of 5 years old me,
But I'm too scared to jump and grab it,
I wasn't sure, I was confused,
Legs felt heavy to put a step forward,
As if something heavier than anything tied to them,
It was then that one childish little wish within me which wanted or should I say craved to be completed,
which wasn't really ready to give up,
asked me to step up, asked me to have a look on what is it which is stopping me.
It was then for that child within,
I turned around,
Just to find a bag full of my own fear, my own insecurities, my own presumptions being tied on me.
It was then I found that it wasn't anyone else
but I stopping myself from reaching where I wanted to be.
It was then I moved forward.
It was then I let myself live as freely as everything around me.
It was the day I set myself free.
First post of the year and the only thing I can say is, it's okay not be okay. You aren't always going to be okay, that's is extremely exhausting. You don't always have to be independent and ready for the world. You don't always have to be at the top of your game. You don't always need to be one with yourself. You just need to focus one what is in front of you and take on the day one step at a time. Give yourself space to breath and refocus your energy. Accept your time out and work with it until you can get back on your feet again. Sometimes we feel alone, beat down and defeated but you are only defeated if you accept it. Nothing is binary, it isn't just victory or defeat. There's a middle ground, a small time out place just for you. Take advantage of that and remember in that place to the world you are one person but to person you the world. You don't have to do everything alone.
I think I'll always be a loner//
I run around you for hours, days, years, a pilgrimage to catch your eye.
My heart; a dove in my chest. A black dove.
You don't know what it's like to be loved for who you are, and not for what you offer.
But when you find someone who finally sees through all the walls, You don't know what to do, so you poke their eyes, and run for a home that's not there anymore.
And what a blessing it'd have been to fall in love, and not get hurt, but had it even been love without a fire kindling in your chest, and your eyes glassing over? For, you have to know pain, to cherish love when you see it.
I first saw love crawling under your skin when I was six, but somewhere there was a crown of sadness hidden in your wild hair, and a heart beginning to freeze over in your chest.
They say your childhood, likely sums up your future.
I'd have thought it as niche marketing, if the only thing in my head from childhood hadn't been you holding my hand, but the colour of the house I lived in. I don't remember the dress my mom tells me I'd refuse to take off. I don't remember anything, but you.
How do I explain it to my mother, how do I tell her I don't want to step out of my bed. It hasn't stopped pouring since it begun 2 days back, the sun's not been out either, it's like the sky is mourning what I have lost over you, what I am losing over you.
The gains, the losses do not matter in love, as far as they're finding a home from my chest to yours.But you don't want any guests, you've locked yourself in a room deprived of all utilities.
You're a riddle like that, you say you don't want to be lonely, but in order to not be alone, and lonely, and sad you'd have to believe in yourself to unlock the door, you'd have to believe that you're capable of keeping company to whoever has been knocking for over a decade.
Maybe they'll rob whatever little is left of you, but maybe they'll bring in a lantern and you'd finally see there's not as little as you think is left of you in this place.
There's so much of you.
And on the days that it pours non stop, we'd stay in bed. We wouldn't even have to explain 'why'.
THE STARS CONVERSED WITH ME
On a night having thoughts more than stars
The mind rising from peace towards the war
Wondering how different the people in our life are
Some acting near but being very far
The stars heard me talking of them,
Some beautiful by face, some with a heart of gem
All from the same origin but have now dissent
Alive in thoughts but in the world, condemned
Talking to them about the old complexions
Some about my true failures, some about the fake celebrations
I felt that the stars too were interested in my conversation
And thus I found myself being a part of a new constellation
The stars taught me the ugly truth of their life
Breaking oneself and fulfilling others wish is not enough an strive
And this made me realize that the same wise
Was not much different from our lives!!! The stars stayed away from the moon
Because they knew it leaves them soon
I wish I could have known the same tune
When people said love you to the moon
The stars closed up with a brief
Another acquaintance ended in grief
The only memory of the stars that makes me relief
Is there is a SUN inside all of us to BELIEVE!!! #thestarsconversedwithme#theknownsecret#writer#writernetwork#writercommunity#igwriters#instagramwriters#writersofinstagram#indianwriters#writersofindia#writerofamravati