What is a leader?
Who is a believer?
What is faith?
Who really puts the food on the plate?
Why is the sky so blue?
When will we have a clue?
I know the science and the logic
But finding a deeper meaning is tragic
Is the world in chaos or is this strategic?
They say the earth is getting warmer
And the rich is getting richer
Everything is a lie, there is no true preacher,
They say we are God's best creature,
Yet we shed blood like it's our feature,
Why is war all so comman now?
Tell me where to find peace, how ?
In my little bubble on Instagram,
I post pictures with my friends and #fam,
Buried with my own thoughts and problems,
Living for the day, for the solutions,
We do not see, It's like we skip human suffering,
Like it's a YouTube video buffering,
There are moments like these when our hearts open up,
And we dismiss it as a stroke of faith, luck,
Dont you ever feel stuck. - Qais D Pakar ...
Shot on @sonyalpha using @tamron_india lenses ....
#love#poem#poet#whpshine#poetry photography #poems#ttt#suffering#wakeup#woke#camels#leader#lead#sky#tropical#words#goodwithwords #
So on the days when you’re walking around, trying to muster up some strength and courage to live “this” life, what do you do when you don’t want it? This isn’t what you dreamt of, it’s not what you hoped for, it’s not definitely not what your life was supposed to look like. It’s ok to feel the breaking, it’s ok to ask the questions, and it’s ok to tell God about your agony. He sees it anyway, he knows your heart, he feels your pain. And the only way to ever find the healing he offers is to embrace the brokenness. Let him embrace you. Let him speak his healing over you. Let him show you something you can’t see right now. There’s always beauty beyond the brokenness. His plan is always redemption. Psalm 130:7 “O Israel, hope in the Lord; For with the Lord there is lovingkindness, And with Him is abundant redemption.”
Today I am so weary I can feel it in my bones. Today my spirit feels so discouraged that it took all I had to keep it together. Today I hid in my closet and cried ugly tears because I felt abandoned and left without any answers. Today I argued with God about everything he has thrown our way and questioned his will constantly.
Maybe you are having a day like mine. Maybe yours was worse. Maybe it hasn't just been a day. Maybe you are stuck in a season of trials and confusion. Maybe you feel forgotten and abandoned. Maybe it is taking everything out of you to hold on. Maybe you are beyond discouraged.
Friend, I am right there with you. My hope feels lost in a sea of uncertainty. I feel tired and worn out from fighting all this junk life throws at me. Today though while in my closet God spoke something clear and precise to me through my ugly sobs and pity party. I want to share it with you because it may encourage you to lift your head, dust yourself off and keep going. "Without trials you are nothing. You don't grow, you don't learn and you don't see me clearly. Out of love I bring you to these moments. Out of love I let you walk through them and learn. Out of love I build you into a stronger person. Without trials you won't ever reach your full potential for the kingdom and for me. This life isn't about you, it is about me. My will is greater than yours ever could be. I lived a perfect life and still suffered, as a follower of mine you sometimes will suffer as well. It doesn't mean I don't love you. It doesn't mean I don't see you and it doesn't mean I have ever once abandoned you. Even though it doesn't feel good doesn't mean it can't be good for you. Trust that I see the end result and as my word says it will be good in the end. Let me work through you and mold you in all this. Trust my plan for it is ALWAYS good." My friend whatever valley you are in whether it is one like mine or totally different, you are not left there alone. I pray that as I learn to let God reign you do the same. I pray that we keep our eyes so focused on him that all this suffering on earth seems trivial. I pray that no matter the season you never lose your joy in him.
I swear the people of earth have got to be some of the slowest learners in the entire galaxy 😵 I understand that each soul came here to have a specific & unique experience but how much self perpetuated suffering and karmic bullshit do y'all want to endure?! Its no wonder beings from higher dimensions had to come down to assist cause y'all mfs would be over here repeating the same ole ancestral emotional traumas until the sun burns out! I know that the planet has been enslaved for thousands of years but come on y'all got the same brain capacity as the rest of us its time to do better & snap out of this nonsensical melodramtic bs 😪
My psychiatrist appointment was very interesting. So far, I'm getting what I've been hoping for. There are mental disorders and illnesses that are making me this way. The psychiatrist got 15 minutes with each person, and within my 15 minutes, she wrote down so much stuff, she didn't even let me continue with everything. THERE WAS SO MUCH MORE FUCKING THINGS THAT I NEEDED TO SAY BECAUSE I NEEDED ANSWERS. UGHHHH. But I'm going in again soon, so I don't need to really worry about missing any diagnosis'. Then she called my dad in and privately talked to him. Afterwards, my dad told me that they said that I need to also get a psychologists to get more testing. Like, WAYYYYYY more testing. She told him that I had already gotten diagnosed with bipolar disorder, unspecified depressive disorder, and split personality disorder within just 15 minutes of me talking to her and summing everything up the best that I can, and like I said, there's so much fucking more that I can rage about because I didn't get a chance to say it all. The fact that I need way more testing still says a lot about my mental health. I'm honestly relieved, there's reasons to my suffering. I can't wait until everything gets diagnosed so that I can gain closure to this wild ride of darkness.
🎶 Arsonist's Lullaby - Hozier 🎶