"Strength is believing in love when I've only known heartbreak. It’s drying my own tears that no one knew I cried.
Strength is overcoming my own demons and looking at someone who completely broke me and forgive them.
Strength is helping others even when it’s me that hasn’t quite figured it out yet. It’s trusting everyone even though I have every reason not to.
Strength is biting my tongue when someone is unkind and realizing it’s a reflection of them and not me. It’s holding on and believing in something I know I deserve but haven’t gotten yet.
Strength is when everyone doubts me but I believe in myself anyway.
But the truth is I’m strong but I’m tired.
I’m tired of being hurt every time I get my hopes up.
I’m tired of anticipating the worst and watching it play out.
I’m tired of being let down and always blaming myself for things.
I’m tired of people telling me I need to change. Then every time I try to I lose myself in an attempt to make them happy.
I’m tired of constantly being challenged and always having to be the bigger person.
I’m tired of thinking too much about people who care too little.
I’m tired of overthinking.
I’m tired of trying so hard to please others when I don’t ask for much in return.
I’m tired of staying up at night as thoughts consume me and I can’t sleep.
I’m tired of carrying this weight on my shoulders from my past that haunts me.
I’m tired of being strong for everyone.
I’m tired of the explanations that came too late and people walking away with no reason.
The truth is caring as much as this hurts. It’s knowing pain at levels others never will. It’s knowing sadness and darkness the way others don’t. It’s experiencing heartbreak that hurts more than any physical amount of pain
But on the other end of such intense emotions is knowing a love so deep, it fills me despite their absence. Despite a sadness I can’t shake, on most days, I’ll experience the happiness that makes it worth it. Despite the pain of endings, I’ll look forward to new beginnings. Because I know when I get it right it’s worth it."