Now it’s Sakura season!! The river near my new house has 800 cherry trees alongside and has become popular spot to enjoy cherry blossoms.
The shops and restaurants was opening their mini food stalls too.
Old me would just look every food there but not allow myself because “it’s a waste of money” or because “ I don’t know the calories”
And I would get depressed because everyone around me is eating and enjoying what they want!! It’s so crazy. What’s the point of torturing myself by A. Taking pleasure away from myself and B. Surround myself with happy people while not allowing myself to be one of them!? So today I got these cute ones that are typical sweets to enjoy cherry blossoms called “ Hanami Dangozaka”( literally means “ blossoms viewing rice dumplings). The keys for recovery are;
1. Recognizing ed/ocd thoughts or urges
2. Don’t act on them!
3. And listen to what “I” really want to do/ eat
( that would be eating tons of food, let myself eat cake, scones, muffins, burgers and chips everyday as much as I want! Or ask my friends or mom for help)
Big thanks to @recovery.chii@megsy_recovery@rebeccajleung for make me realize this and understand it’s okay to feel overwhelmingly uncomfortable.
Joining us in The Talk Tent this year are 💕
Eve Simmons and Laura Dennison, both of whom have suffered eating disorders, are the co-founders of Not Plant Based. Eve and Laura are both journalists; Eve is deputy health editor at Mail on Sunday and Laura is currently freelance, following three years at The Press Association. Laura also runs her own anti diet PR company called Sugar Content PR.
When Laura watched Eve being interviewed on the BBC Documentary Clean Eating's Dirty Secrets about her no-nonsense attitude to so-called 'clean eaters', and how such nutribabble contributed to her anorexia, she decided to approach her about founding a new website, Not Plant Based. Their website covers a broad range of topics from nutritional advice to restaurant tips, to practical mental health advice, and features interviews with a wide range of chefs, food writers and influencers, including Jay Rayner, Bryony Gordon, Charli Howard, Ruby Tandoh and Gizzi Erskine. Since being founded in September 2016, the blog has received coverage in The Times, the Telegraph, the Metro, the Evening Standard and the Mirror, among others, and it has already attracted a growing social media following of 15,000 fans.
lmao who is ready for an update? 🤙🏼
wow, where do i even start? things haven’t been so great. eating disorder wise it has been alright. i’m kind of up and down with it but at the moment i can only seeing it going down but idk, for once it’s not the only thing that’s on my mind 24/7. the thing that has been the worst at the moment is definitely depression. i’ve always had depression, but right now i have never felt so low and miserable as i have in this moment. i’ve lost all my friends, for reasons that are still unclear to me and no one wants to make clear. i left my high school to do online school which i’m still waiting on getting in so all day i have nothing to do besides think about how crap my life is. my body image has never been worst. wow, this is really negative but i’m honestly just being honest :/ i guess i just need the most support i can get right now so i’m back! not all my posts will be as negative (thank god) but yeah this is my current situation 😕 i’ve also made a private recovery account that y’all can follow if you like called @broodingbean 💓 hope you are all doing well and sending my love 💞
Do poorly drawn, creepy masks give you nightmares? 🎭 What about now?
If not, see the second photo - works for me everytime 😁
Decorative masks are an art therapy go-to.
Metaphors, expressing emotions, having emotions - all that good stuff.
Does this one mean anything? No, not really. But let's keep that to ourselves.
Group therapy is a joy on it's own (ha!) art just takes it to that next level 😄
Really though, it's a pretty good program and one that I'm lucky to have.
Nothing throws that into perspective like the weekend. It's worth repeating: weekends at hospital suck.
It's a ghost town and time actually goes slower!
At least I get a few minutes of fresh air. Full disclosure, those fifteen minutes of sun turned me into a fire hydrant. It's possible I'm becoming a vampire.
please excuse the selfie, it was necessary for the joke 👌
Il grande giorno é arrivato!!!!
Oggi parto per Londra e sono emozionatissima e preoccupata allo stesso tempo!😂
Ho finito di preparare la valigia e spero di non aver dimenticato nulla anche se ne dubito considerando che sono una distratta cronica😅
Spero di riuscire a scrivervi ogni tanto ma se non dovessi riuscirvi sappiate che tra una settimana vi racconteró tutto❤
Sará una settimana piena di sfide e di fearfood: ogni giorno, ad ogni pasto, per 7 giorni. So che non sará facile ma ce la metteró tutta per godermi il viaggio che sogno da almeno 2 anni.
Dobbiamo LOTTARE. Non si molla: BISOGNA ANDARE SEMPRE AVANTI. Dobbiamo riprenderci la nostra vita perché sopravvivere NON SI CHIAMA vivere! Io credo in voi,anzi, io credo in noi❤ Riusciremo ad uscire ma dobbiamo volerlo fino in fondo.
Con questa gustosissima colazione con i nuovi cereali al caramello e cioccolato (che sono LA VITA😍) e con i miei amati cereali al miele, vi auguro una bellissima settimana.
Un abbraccio grandissimo ad ognuna di voi❤Tra l'laltro sarebbe bellissimo conoscervi di persona un giorno (*pensieri delle 8)
-yogurt greco fage vaniglia
-cereali al cioccolato e caramello (piú che in foto)
-farro soffiato al miele(piú che in foto)
Ps: come faró una settimana senza yogurt greciii😱 entreró in astinenza😂😂
gonna try and use this as my food log to help hold me accountable for these next couple days as I feel like I’m really struggling. I have realized one thing though: the root of my anxiety is my mom. Not that she is intentionally the problem, but ever since I was little I had grown up with people praising my mom, whether it be my grandparents calling her skinny or people her age commenting on how great and in shape she was. My mom, I feel was always the health guru amongst her friends and peers and growing up I felt like all the attention she was getting was only possible if I looked like her and was exactly like her. Since then it’s become a subconscious competition to be better than her; if she runs, I run more; if she eats, I eat the same or less; I always have this drive to one up her, but I don’t want to. I want to have a normal relationship with my mom. She’s told me time and time again I’m fine just the way I am and I don’t have to be like her cause “I’ve accomplished so much more,” and I don’t even think I want to be like her deep down i just have no other way to look at it cause for most of my life I conditioned myself to think that way whether I was aware of it or not. I’m hoping soon if I get a therapist they can help me to dive deeper into that and help me find ways to resolve it. Today was really stressful and not good but I tried nourishing my body with a comfort food and rather than obsess over how many calories it probably was I’m going to be grateful that it was good, remind myself that I am a vision of God, and if I wouldn’t harm him I shouldn’t harm myself or beat myself up over it🙏🏻 hope you all found yourself having a good day so far.
🇬🇧🇺🇸 I can not cope with eating disorders. It's getting worse day by day. The desire to lose weight is so strong and yet I still have bouts of overeating and then I use harmful ways to get rid of this food from the body. I hate myself. And I would like to be healthy. After all, the weight gain is not immediately related to being obese? I would like to have a nice, healthy figure. I wish my hair would not fall out and my nails would not break. I would like to have a normal life ... I would like to be happy ... FREE. I do not want to vomit or starve myself. I do not have strength anymore. Still, I can not fight and it's getting worse. I'm struggling with myself ... ——————————————————————
🇵🇱 Nie radzę sobie z zaburzeniami odżywiania. Z dnia na dzień jest coraz gorzej. Chęć schudnięcia jest tak silna a mimo to wciąż mam napady objadania się a później stosuję szkodliwe sposoby by się tego jedzenia pozbyć z organizmu. Nienawidzę siebie. A chciałabym być zdrowa. Przecież przytycie nie wiąże się od razu z byciem otyłym? Chciałabym mieć ładną, zdrową figurę. Chciałabym by nie wypadały mi włosy i nie łamały się paznokcie. Chciałabym mieć normalne życie... Chciałabym być szczęśliwa... WOLNA. Nie chcę wymiotować albo się głodzić. Nie mam już siły. Mimo to nie potrafię podjąć walki i jest coraz gorzej. Męczę się ze sobą... What to do? Co robić? 😭
Sorry for dissapearing for 2 days, I have a math test tomorrow and I've been studing a lot... I hope I do well🙏 But anyways, I had some great progress this week! yesterday I was able to repeat dinner, something that my ed would never ever let me do! I'm extremely grateful for what recovery brought me✨
Pavo al jugo con papás, más 1/4 de palta
Ayyy, disculpenmee por no subir fotos de mis comidasss 🙏🙏🙏 mi mamá me hace todas mis comidas, y me da vergüenza que me vea haciéndole foto al plato 😅 espero volver a subir una imagen lo más antes posible, voy a intentar ser más constante.
Bueno, dejando eso de lado, les quiero comentar que me he sentido bastante bien, respecto a mi nueva pauta alimentaria. La he seguido al pie de la letra, lo que me pone muy contenta y orgullosa de mi misma ❤️ tengo que ponerle empeño, porque en la sesión anterior con mi nutri baje, y si bajo de nuevo, me van a internar, Y ME NIEGO A QUE LO HAGAN, so, aquí estoy, dando mi máximo esfuerzo 💪 espero con ansias este Martes para ver mis avances.
✨Week 1 of recovery at my parents is down. Here’s an update:
🌸blood work came back good
🌸i went from 54 to 56 pounds
🌸I can eat 1/2 a bagel & scrambled eggs
🌸blood pressure 98/60
🌸mood has improved dramatically 🌸learning to accept help from my family
Doctors visit went well. I'm getting a temp disability placard for when I can start driving again.
Bad news is he deemed me medically unstable to travel until further notice so no long trips for a while 😞
“If this is how my life is going to be... I don’t think I even want to live it anymore”.
Those are the exact words I thought one morning 7 years ago....Waking up after yet another fight with my abusive ex.
Where he tore me down emotionally so bad that I didn’t have any life left in me.
I remember that feeling like it was yesterday.
I was so empty.
I didn’t look forward to anything.
I felt like an empty shell of a girl who used to be full of life.
I was beyond depressed.
I saw the signs from the beginning.... the possessiveness, jealousy of me being with friends, the quick switches between happy and anger, the impulsiveness...
But he was good looking, older than me, had a good job & his own house...
I should have left the first time he choked me,
but I didn’t.
Because I was “fat”. I had zero self worth. & I didn’t think I would ever get anyone better.
Being treated like shit was the price I thought I had to pay because I wasn’t a size 4 like the Disney princesses & actresses on TV who get “Prince Charming”.
It took me way too long to leave him because of fear I wouldn’t find anyone else...
All because the world told me no one loves the fat girl. No one loves the girl who doesn’t look like the magazines.
NO MORE PUTTING UP WITH BULLSHIT.
Fuck being with people who don’t give a shit about you. Fuck tolerating any less than you deserve. Fuck lowering your standards because you don’t think you’ll find someone better.
YOU, as you are now, deserve the world.
I know someone reading this is currently going through an emotionally or physically abusive situation & you need to know you DO NOT under any circumstance have to tolerate that.
Get the fuck out. As soon as possible. Even if it feels impossible, you have to find a way.
If I had stayed with him or even continued to believe the BS he fed me about my worth after we broke up.. I wouldn’t be here...
On MY fucking throne, owning my worth, changing the world, full of life & being treated like the queen I deserved to be treated like.
All because I chose ME.
CON’T IN COMMENTS 👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼👇🏼
I feel like I’ve hit a bit of a wall with my Instagram lately. I love creating recipes and it’s a big part of my life, but I feel like I could be better... I want to be better! I’m not happy with my photos and want to change my style to make them look more ‘pro’, but I also want to keep my vibe. Agh it’s a difficult one... I think I’ll keep experimenting with styles until I find one that I’m happy with and which fits me. Instagrammer problems 🙈😅
Anyway, I’ve just posted a new recipe on the blog. It’s a roasted red pepper @quorn_uk chicken curry and I can assure you, it’s one not to be missed! 👌
What you’ll need:
🌶2 sweet red peppers 🌶Spray oil @frylighthq
🌶2 medium brown onions 🌶1 tbsp minced garlic 🌶1 tbsp minced ginger 🌶2 Birdseye chillis (or 1 red chilli/scotch bonnet) 🌶1 tbsp vegetable oil 🌶1 tsp: cumin, corriander, garam masala, curry powder 🌶250g @quorn_uk chicken pieces 🌶1 tin coconut milk (400ml) 🌶2 bay leaves 🌶Salt & pepper to taste 🌶1 tbsp chopped fresh corriander
The full recipe is on the blog. It’s packed with flavour, super easy to make and tastes like a takeaway 😋 www.bonniebrazilb.com 💚
ciao tate, giornataccia purtroppo...
oggi in day hospital🏥 mi hanno chiamata, dato che finisco il secondo ciclo delle frequenze♻️ (tre mesi sono un ciclo), e mi hanno confermato che ovviamente inizierò il terzo.
il problema é arrivato quando la dottoressa mi ha detto “Francesca il tuo BMI é 15,5, é ancora troppo basso⬇️ per poterti lasciare a casa un altro giorno.”
Non ci potevo credere, ero basita. Fino ad un secondo prima avrei giurato🤞🏻 di essere quasi al normopeso, ma le mie convinzioni sono state smontate🌬 dal fatto che il mio peso in tre mesi non è praticamente variato.
certo, un pochino mi dispiace per il fatto non ho ancora il ciclo🔐e gli esami💉 cardiaci sono ancora un po’ sballati, ma la cosa che mi butta giù😞 più di tutte è che devo continuare ad andare in ospedale con una frequenza di tre volte a settimana, cosa che sarebbe cambiata se il peso fosse aumentato😔
non ce la faccio a più a respirare quell’aria malata❌, sono stufa.🚫
continuano a dirmi che di testa🧠 ho fatto tantissimi passi, ma sono ferma con il fisico.
sono incazzatissima, non è colpa mia. cos’altro devo fare? la dieta la seguo, non mi muovo mai, ascolto alla lettera quello che mi dicono.
e la cosa che mi fa terribilmente paura😣 é quello che potrò vedere nello specchio👁 quando sarò davvero normopeso, se già con il peso di adesso appena mi vedo sto male.👎🏼
sono a pezzi...cerco di aggrapparmi🥊 alla vita che mi aspetta, ma sono davvero stufa di tutto questo.
•Melanzane🍆 (con olio evo🥄)
dinner is a huge win!! admittedly the pasta is of the low carb variation, but im having PESTO pasta with mushrooms AND Quorn! ~
dont get me wrong, i am terrified and im having to take breaks in between spoonfuls hence why im writing, but the fact i CHOSE to have a sauce is big. my head is absolutely screeching, I feel vile for choosing something that’s an ‘unnecessary extra’. ~
but i have been CRAVING pesto for as long as i can remember, i adore the stuff. so you know what i did? i marched myself to the convenience shop and bought a jar. 👊🏻 i added about two heaped teaspoons when i could have had a bit less but i wanted to feel somewhat satisfied despite the huge fears. ~
baby steps 👣#anxietyrecovery#edawareness#eatingdisorderecovery#edrecovery#anorexiarecovery#fearfood#depressionrecovery#eupdrecovery#anorexia#edwarrior#edchallenge
Sto per andare ad una festa di compleanno di un ragazzo che conosco. Mi ha invitato settimana scorsa e alla fine ho accettato; andremo in un locale e faremo un apericena.
Ci provo, vi aggiorno.
Buon venerdì sera ragazze 🍓
I think I am honestly going to have a meatballs tab and then a taco tab on the blog all to themselves for all the recipes I have for both 😂😂 I love encouraging creativity in the kitchen and working with what you’ve got. I truly believe that helps us to foster flexibility in other areas of life too, and makes it less intimidating when we don’t have to measure every single thing. (That can be super triggering for some of us in recovery!) This week my lunches were buffalo chicken meatballs stuffed into ooey gooey instant pot sweet potatoes with some broccoli on the side 😍
I added some Trader Joes hot and sweet jalapeños and some feta cheese a few of the days (I didn’t have blue cheese 😫) and that was super delicious as well. I also brought my bottle of sriracha to work bc toppings really elevate a meal ya feel me??? For the meatballs I took 1lb of ground chicken and mixed in 1 egg, I dashed in some bread crumbs, garlic powder, salt and pepper, red pepper flakes, and some Frank’s Red Hot and mixed it up. This made about 15 “medium” sized meatballs. I put them in the oven at 450 degrees for about 15 minutes until they were brown and cooked through.
During this time I also roasted broccoli, and had my sweet potatoes in the instant pot with a cup of water at the bottom and the potatoes on top of the little metal grate that comes with the pot.
I put them on “steam” for 18 minutes and let the air slow release for 25.
They are DOPE cooked like this, but also delicious roasted at 450 for 70 minutes in a regular oven too! I recommend piercing them with a fork too if you do it this way.
I added some extra hot sauce to the meatballs and the rest of the meal and 🙌🏻👏🏻 Happy Friday friends!! 💞💞 #eatingdisorderecovery#recipe4recovery#edfighter#losehatenotweight#anorexiarecovery#prorecovery#prorecoverysupport#intuitiveeating#intuitiveeatingjourney#bodyimage#bodypositivity#easymealprep#confidence#mentalhealthawareness#foodisfuel#foodismedicine#mentalillness#fuckdiet#easymeals#easydinner#dinner#mentalhealthawareness#mentalillness#mealprep