I would title this portion of my love life currently as “Deliver Me From Egoistic (Men)” Men who are intimidated by successful, black women. Women who are independent. But know how to love enough for the both of us. I have a guard up, I must admit. Especially after literally experiencing an old endeavor coming back into my life (common cycle) being impatient to change, and ultimately moving on. I felt guilt. I felt stupid. But I’m starting to accept what I can’t change. As women, we’re born with big hearts. Strong emotions. And as much as you can “pretend” you don’t care, or live by the mentality that you deserve better (which you do) or that you’re a bad bitch, and nothing can kill you (which is true), shit still hurts. So guard up. I just wish I had answers. Don’t we all still have unanswered questions? It’s cool. Closure is also not lenient on patience. However, there’s someone out there for everyone. A soulmate. You can be lenient with patience. Love is hard. That’s not a statement. It’s a fact. It’s beautiful. But it’s hard. But we can find love in so many other things. So cry about what you can’t change, talk about it for a day or two and then let it go. Don’t let it consume you. Think on the upside, there’s much time to find love. Have you found yourself? Be happy for people in love, even if it’s not who you expected it to be. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were protecting yourself. We have a divine right to protect our space. Our hearts. Let it feel. But don’t let it become overwhelmingly full. #versatileblackgirl#love#rant#blackwomen#blacklove#gabrielleunion#lifestyle#relationships#soulmate#positivity#feelings#2000s#deliverusfromeva#films#lessons#selflove#women
Librarian at Lunch + Hairdoing Diary
Monday, March 25, 2019
It had been a while, but yesterday I put in the (several) hours it takes to straighten my hair: Washed it. Slathered coconut oil throughout. Combed it out. (Which took an extra long time since I hadn't done that in a while.) Blew it “straight.” (My “straight” is still quite textured, which I like. Separated into 5 sections which I two-strand twisted and finished off with elastic bands on the ends. Piled everything on top of my head and secured with a few clips. Fell out in the bed from hairdressing fatigue. Went to sleep. Woke up. Took down two-strand twists. Styled. Felt gratitude for the fact Houston is not yet at peak humidity levels, because if it was, this style would last however long it takes to walk from the front door to the car in the morning.
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